Archive for the ‘Jokes & Riddles’ Category

Star if you like this one?

Thursday, November 6th, 2008
personnel consulting
l s asked:


A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?”

“Well, “he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.”

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”

“Oh certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

Brian

The string and the Spoon?

Sunday, September 14th, 2008
personnel consulting
My Cat Won’t Let Me Online asked:


A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
> > organization.
> >
> > Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed
> > that
> > the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It
> > seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and
> > utensils, I
> > noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked
> > around saw
> > that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
> >
> > When the waiter came back to serve
>our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?”
> >
> > “Well, “he explained, “The restaurant’s owners hired Andersen
> > Consulting to
> > revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they
> > concluded
> > that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It
> > represents a
> > drop frequency of
>approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our
> > personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back
> > to the
> > kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”
> >
> > As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace
> > it with
> > his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen
> > instead of
> > making an extra trip to get it right now.”
> >
> > I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out
> > of the
> > waiter’s fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the
> > same
> > string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the
> > waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string
>right
> > there?”
> >
> > “Oh, certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is
>so
> > observant.
> > That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we could save
> > time in
> > the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we
> > can pull
> > it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands,
> > shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.
> >
> > I asked, “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”
> >
> > “Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the
> > spoon.”

Natalie

Spoons ? A joke?

Sunday, August 3rd, 2008
personnel consulting
Donald asked:


A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference to an organization.

Last week, I took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When another waiter brought our water, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, ‘Why the spoon?’

‘Well’, he explained, ‘the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.’

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. ‘I’ll get another spoon next time! I go to the kitchen, instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.’

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.

Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter,

‘Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?’

‘Oh, certainly!’ Then he lowered his voice.

‘Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked ‘After you get it out, how do you put it back?’

‘Well,’ he whispered, ‘I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.’

Margaret

Rate this please?

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
personnel consulting
hhfe asked:


A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?”

“Well, “he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.”

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”

“Oh certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

Natalie

The “Clean” Spoon?

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
personnel consulting
Bagbalm Catdew asked:


A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, “Steve’s Place,” and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, “Why the spoon?”

“Well, “he explained, “the restaurant’s owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”

“Oh, certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

Jerome

Spoons in your pocket?

Sunday, June 15th, 2008
personnel consulting
Timeflo asked:


Last week I took some friends out to a restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange, but I ignored it. However, when the busboy brought out water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I then looked around the room and saw that all the waitpersons had a spoon in their pocket. When the waiter came back to check on our order I asked: ”Why the spoon?” ”Well,” he explained, ”the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting, experts in efficiency, in order to revamp all our processes. After several months of statistical analysis, they concluded that customers drop their spoons 73.84% more often than any other utensil. This represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are prepared to deal with that contingency, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 1.5 man-hours per shift.”
As we finished talking, a metallic sound was heard from behind me. Quickly, the waiter replaced the dropped spoon with the one in his pocket and said: ”I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.” I was rather impressed. The waiter continued taking our order and while my guests ordered, I continued to look around. I then noticed that there was a very thin string hanging out of the waiter’s fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their fly. My curiosity got the better of me and before he walked off, I asked the waiter: ”Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?” ”Oh, certainly!” he answered, lowering his voice. ”Not everyone is as observant as you. That consulting firm I mentioned, also found out that we can save time in the restroom.” ”How so?”
”See,” he continued, ”by tying this string to the tip of …you know… we can pull it out over the urinal without touching it and that way eliminate the need to wash the hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent” ”Okay, that makes sense, but… if the string helps you get it out, how do you put it back in?” ”Well,” he whispered, lowering his voice even further, ”I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

Leslie

What is that spoon in your pocket for?

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
personnel consulting
gram asked:


The Spoon

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.
Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, ‘Steve’s
Place,’ and
noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt
pocket.
It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and
utensils,
I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their
pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, ‘Why the
spoon?’

‘Well, ‘he explained, ‘the restaurant’s owner hired
Andersen Consulting to
revamp all of our processes. After several m onths of analysis, they
concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It
represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per
hour.

If our personnel are bette r prepared, we can reduce the number of t
rips
back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift..’

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his
spare.
‘I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead
of making an
extra trip to get it right now.’ I was impressed.

I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s
fly.

Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string
hanging
from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter,
‘Excuse
me,
but can you tell me why you have that string right there?’

‘Oh, certainly!’ Then he lowered his voice. ‘Not everyone
is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in
the
restroom.

By tying this string to the tip of our you know-what, we can pull it
out
without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands,
shortening
the
time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, ‘After you get it out, how do you put it
back?’
‘Well,’ he whispered, ‘I don’t know about the others,
but I use the
spoon’.

Dolores

The Spoon?

Friday, May 9th, 2008
personnel consulting
White Organic Polish Princess asked:


Timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
organization.
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?”
“Well,” he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon
was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop
frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able
to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.”
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of
the waiter’s fly.
Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string
hanging from their
flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but
can you tell me
why you have that string right there?”

“Oh, certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting
firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this
string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without
touching it and eliminate
the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the
restroom by
76.39 percent.”
I asked “After you get it out, how do you put it back?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.

Carlos

The Spoon?

Saturday, April 26th, 2008
personnel consulting
Shy Girl S_is back x asked:


For all of you who frequent restaurants and understand the need for the

Service to be faster, this short story is a timeless lesson on how
Consultants can make a difference to an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that
The waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It
Seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought our water, I noticed
He also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their
Pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, ‘Why the
Spoon?’

‘Well, he explained, ‘the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to
Revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded
That the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a
Drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our
Personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to
The kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.’

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it
With his spare. ‘I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen,
Instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.’

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the
Waiter’s’ fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same
String hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the
Waiter, ‘Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right
There?’

‘Oh, certainly!’ Then he lowered his voice. ‘Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in
The restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can
Pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands,
Shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked: ‘After you get it out, how do you put it back?’

‘Well,’ he whispered, ‘I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.’

Jon